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Life story

" On March 20th, Margaret “Fred” Brown (Douglas) left us all from her red-roofed cabin in White Oak Canyon in the peace of the Blue Ridge Mountains. Born Margaret Rodes Brown on October 10, 1953 to James Rodes Brown, Jr. and Margaret Thornton Brown of Rappahannock, Virginia, she became “Fred” to all at age 2. She was constantly asking everyone to be her “fwed.” She was a great “fwed” and never stopped making “fweds” until the day she died.

Fred was married to Lennie Mears and later Jack Douglas and in the last years of her life, she fell in love with Pete Darmody when he and three stranded hiking buddies showed up at her mountain cabin one evening. She gave them dinner and drinks and---in an even greater leap of faith—she loaned them her car so they could drive home to Maryland. She could not help herself around people in need and she was there for everyone.

Throughout her busy life, Fred registered voters, marched for women’s rights, personally assisted homeless people, hiked extreme terrain to raise funds for cystic fibrosis research, hosted charity gatherings, designed gardens for her city, adopted stray cats, nursed family and friends after surgery and illness, and never let anyone work harder than she did on anything. Her work life reflected her many passions and strengths. She worked as a middle school art teacher, a landscape designer and floral arranger, and evolved from being a technical writer initially to become a valued combat systems engineer for naval weapons systems for many years.

Fred was a determined, undaunted, and some might say headstrong person. Not much could intimidate Fred. She and Lennie built an underground house when they were in their 20s and she was pregnant. She built two more houses on her own, and she and her builder Melvin Weakley literally moved a mountain to build her dream home in her happy place, Old Rag. Fred probably moved more furniture in her lifetime than U-Haul and she was addicted to wallpaper. She was once caught hanging wallpaper in a stairwell, by herself, to make sure it was done for her daughter Lucy’s wedding that she was hosting at her home. We wonder if wallpaper will play a role in her final resting place.

Like her grandmother, Anna Smith Brown, Fred was “Missy” to her grandchildren. She loved Ophelia, Levon, and Arcus to bits and was endlessly entertained by their high jinks. Just like the original Missy, Missy Fred was up early baking treats for her little scamps and was constantly buzzing around picking up after everyone everywhere. She slept in a virtual “closet” several days a week for many years so she could help take care of Ophelia and Levon for her daughter Lucy and her husband Ray. No wonder she loved getting back to her grandfather’s antique Rappahannock hand-turned poster bed at home so much—the perfect combination of memories, comfort, and reward.

Some of us will pass unnoticed from life but Fred leaves a large fan club. She was grateful she had the time to reconnect with so many who meant so much to her from her past: people she hiked with, worked with, volunteered with, partied with, skinny-dipped with, traveled with, entertained, cared for, was related to, told stories with, drank tea with, and even babysat. She had so many visitors and each one was a comfort to her, a reconnection to her past, and a reminder of her splendid life.

Her new friend Mary Hoggard turned out to be Fred’s guardian angel. Mary got the family’s approval when she instinctively realized that if she ever wanted to stay hydrated, she should never leave a glass unattended at Fred’s house, lest Fred whisk it away in an instant. Mary adopted the whole family and gained everyone’s trust and gratitude with her exceptional caring. Mary’s greatest gift to us all was to make it possible for Fred to achieve her most treasured wish—to die in the place she loved the most—her home.

Fred is survived by her sister, Susan Stuart Brown (Phil) of Chicago, Illinois and her brother, James Rodes Brown III (Kate) of Richmond, Virginia, with whom she shared a childhood that was equal parts enchantment and devastation, stability and chaos, control and loss, and rich storytelling and miserliness. She is also survived by her grandchildren, Ophelia Sparrow Beadnell, Levon Phoenix Beadnell, and Arcus Sterling Beadnell, and their father, Raymond Beadnell, all of Arlington Virginia, each of whom she loved and valued for their unique and special gifts. She was amazed at how much Ophelia could talk, how many stitches Levon could get, and how many curls could fit on Arcus’s head. They were her joy. Finally, she is survived by the true love of her life, Lucy Mears Beadnell, her daughter. Fred’s love for Lucy was profound and absolutely unshakable. She was proud of everything Lucy did and accomplished and adored being a mother more than anything else she ever did—the same way that Lucy does now.

Fred’s life was ended by ALS, a cruel progression of paralysis. Through it all she was brave and courageous beyond imagining. She never complained, continued to worry about people she cared for, and even planned her own funeral so she would not bother anyone. She was more alive in dying than most of us are on our best days. A memorial service for Fred will be held at a later date.

She will be interred with her family in Saint Paul’s Episcopal Cemetery on Hawlin Road in Woodville, Virginia. She would love for everyone to stop by and say hi, the way she always did for the rest of the family. Bright colors (especially red, the color Fred knew was the best) are welcome, as are hats. All are welcome to her home after for a wake. Please note parking is limited, so you may want to consider carpooling. GPS may not work unless you put in the address early in the drive as there is limited service.

In honor of her extraordinary talent with plants and flowers, please feel free to plant something special in a meaningful place in her memory.

If you'd like to send a donation to one of mom's passion projects, planting new spring flowering trees at the St. Paul's Cemetery, where mom and her family will be, please send donations to:
St. Paul's Cemetery
P.O. Box 299
Washington, Virginia 22747
Checks payable to Trinity Episcopal Church "